A month ago, I began pitching my YA low-fantasy novel The Hornet’s Nest to literary agencies around the world. Armed with lots of hope, a little delusion and a spreadsheet colour-coded like a military operation, I dreamed big. Would the New York star-maker be in touch first? Or perhaps the sage in corduroy from London. I particularly fancied the idea of a jaded and forgotten Parisian legend riding my novel to a career Indian summer. Hell, I'd be happy with the fast-talking shark from Sydney, dangling a movie option.
Reality check: Jericho Writers suggests a top agent receives two thousand submissions a year, and signs just two or three authors. A publisher, in turn, might receive five hundred manuscripts from agents and take three or four. So, yes, the odds are grim.
So far, I’ve had ten rejection and forty-two polite silences.
Honestly, I’m not surprised. I don’t think my pitch is bad – I’ve been studying the art of query writing like it’s a PhD thesis. But agents know what they’re looking for and sometimes what they’re looking for isn’t a punk band of anthropomorphic insects saving the world.
Agencies tell you exactly what they’re looking for. It starts with the cover letter where the first paragraph should state the genre and hook:
I am a first-time author seeking representation for The Hornet’s Nest, an 84,000 word YA low-fantasy action/adventure that tests the relationships of four misfit members of a punk band as they unearth hidden truths that challenge everything they thought they knew about life, love, and what truly matters.
Hopefully, this pricks their interest enough to read the second paragraph - a short synopsis:
Set in a non-human, anthropomorphic world, Them Creepy Crawlies is a band on the rise. They pour their hearts into their music, earning a headline spot at one of the world’s biggest music festivals. But the night before their life-changing performance, a shocking revelation shakes the band to its core. Wiggy, their bass player, has been kidnapped. Unbeknownst to his bandmates, Wiggy isn’t just a talented musician, he’s a spy holding a secret in his subconscious that in the wrong hands could destroy the world. Determined to rescue him, the band embarks on an adventure full of twists and turns, testing their friendships and unearthing hidden truths. The Hornet’s Nest is a story about self-discovery, second chances, and the unbreakable bonds of friendship.
Next, tell them who might actually buy your book:
As a musician myself, I love music-fuelled movies that explore fame, identity, and relationships between disparate musicians - The Commitments, Sing Street, The Fabulous Stains. The Hornet’s Nest, therefore, will resonate with younger fans of Daisy Jones & The Six. But imagine on the release of Honeycomb the band sets off on a rip-roaring Six of Crows/Alex Rider adventure.
And then, finally, the awkward ‘tell us about yourself’ bit:
This is my first foray into fiction writing, but as a former teacher and business manager in Australia and Kenya, I am much experienced in crafting reports, plans, proposals and communications collateral. I am a passionate songwriter and previously wrote a series of blogs tracking the success (or otherwise) of taking my songs to the world. Recently I began a new series tracking the success (or otherwise) of hooking a literary agent. Now supporting people with disabilities in Adelaide, when not writing redrafts of The Hornet’s Nest, I’m a full-time servant to my two grown-up, stay-at-home, children.
By now the agent should be salivating at the thought of tearing into the attached synopsis and first chapters.
So where did I go wrong? Alas, I will never find out because like the submission guidelines, each rejection is prescriptive. Thanks for choosing us. Unfortunately, your book is not right for us at this time. We won’t be providing any further information. Good luck!
Look, I know there’s forty two agents to hear back from but I’m not holding my breath. Probably what E.L. James (Fifty Shades of Grey), Andy Weir (The Martian), Lisa Genova (Still Alice), Amanda Brown (Legally Blonde) and Christopher Paolini (Eragon) said to themselves before heading down the self-publishing route.
I may approach publishers directly, but Plan B is well underway – I’m prepping for self-publishing. I have a budget and, critically, I’ve convinced my wife that it’s money well spent (although she did mutter, “Like the money you spent promoting your music?” Ouch!).
First, the book needs a professional edit. This starts with a ‘manuscript assessment’ - where someone experienced in the genre assesses big picture elements, like story, plot, pace, character arcs. I flirted with hiring The Hunger Games editor via Reedsy. They quoted $3500. I chose to go local via Writers SA. $1000.
Next, I could opt for a ‘developmental edit’, a deep line-by-line dive into structure, tension, technique, chapter flow and whether Chapter 14 really needs that mosquito dream sequence. I might give this a miss, but I will absolutely need the final, final draft proofread because typos are like those mosquitos - there’s always one more. And if the budget allows, I’ll combine that with a copy edit to smooth out the sentences written under the influence of too many espressos.
Right then. Fifty-two submissions down. Zero salivating agents.
Bugger it! The Hornet’s Nest doesn’t need a gatekeeper.
It needs a spotlight and a mic!
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